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Internet CEO Moms
The lifeblood of how I keep it all together!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Mom Guilt Factor
Work.. Stay at home debate. I've been on both sides of the fence. I've always been very focused, new exactly what I was doing, what I was going to be.. and then I had kids :)
My oldest son is 7, and when he was born, I went back to my corporate job because we didn't want to go without the money, and all my friends did the same. I felt guilty.. each day I dropped him off. I raced out of work and spent every minute with him until bed.
The night before my second son was born, I decided to work part time. At my current job, I had that flexibility... So I decided to stay home in the afternoons.. work every free moment from home and go to the office only in the morning. My guilt lessened. I actually felt really good as my second son grew older and got to go to preschool in the morning, and I was home in the afternoon. I also got to spend 2 years home with my older son in the afternoon..
We didn't have as much money... in comes the guilt? Was I not able to provide my kids with all they needed? I figured out it wasn't so much what they needed... but what they "wanted"
I guess I feel that when you are a Mom.. you have guilt. All the time you have guilt. You are gone too much, your kids aren't getting social interaction, you are smothering them, your not teaching them enough.. it never ends. The best info I can give to the Work vs Home debate, is that every family is different. I've experienced both sides and understand the guilt of both.
BTW- Boy number 3 is here... and hopefully I will be full stay at home with him by the summer. I'm sure this will bring on more guilt, but we can only do what we can :)
My oldest son is 7, and when he was born, I went back to my corporate job because we didn't want to go without the money, and all my friends did the same. I felt guilty.. each day I dropped him off. I raced out of work and spent every minute with him until bed.
The night before my second son was born, I decided to work part time. At my current job, I had that flexibility... So I decided to stay home in the afternoons.. work every free moment from home and go to the office only in the morning. My guilt lessened. I actually felt really good as my second son grew older and got to go to preschool in the morning, and I was home in the afternoon. I also got to spend 2 years home with my older son in the afternoon..
We didn't have as much money... in comes the guilt? Was I not able to provide my kids with all they needed? I figured out it wasn't so much what they needed... but what they "wanted"
I guess I feel that when you are a Mom.. you have guilt. All the time you have guilt. You are gone too much, your kids aren't getting social interaction, you are smothering them, your not teaching them enough.. it never ends. The best info I can give to the Work vs Home debate, is that every family is different. I've experienced both sides and understand the guilt of both.
BTW- Boy number 3 is here... and hopefully I will be full stay at home with him by the summer. I'm sure this will bring on more guilt, but we can only do what we can :)
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Boys and Games
I have three young boys, four counting my husband. What is it about boys and electronics? Is it a learned behavior or genetic? With all the men in my life, I tend to believe that it is somewhat genetic. The need to compete and "get to the next level" runs deep in my boys.... however, my husband and I may not be great role models. Being in IT our entire lives has led our lives to lean on the electronic side. We have 3 laptops (2 Dells, 1 Mac) and a desktop. We have an IPAD, several IPODs and my husband's latest new gadget the EVO. I guess I shouldn't be surprised my 7 and 4 year old boys always want to play the DS, WII or computer. They love playing "Angry Birds" on the IPAD and EVO. They know how to download apps, see the weather on the WII and order their own Netflix. Anyone else in this boat? I'm constanting limiting the amount of TV time, game time, electronic toy time. IT IS EXHAUSTING! I look forward to the day when the boys can shut it off on their own. Will this day ever come??
I will not give in to the battle. I will continue to only allow 45 minutes of game time a day. I will make them do puzzles and free play time, dancing with music time, and of course reading time. As easy as it would make my life to let them play to their hearts desire, I refuse. They know the limits, they know I won't let in.... then they go ask dad :)
I will not give in to the battle. I will continue to only allow 45 minutes of game time a day. I will make them do puzzles and free play time, dancing with music time, and of course reading time. As easy as it would make my life to let them play to their hearts desire, I refuse. They know the limits, they know I won't let in.... then they go ask dad :)
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Sleep Anyone?
Okay, this is my first blog ever. So I'll make it short and sweet as it's a topic that revolves around at our house... SLEEP.
Everyone needs it, not everyone wants it. As a mother of 3 small children, I'm waiting for the day when my kids want to sleep. When does this happen? I remember always wanting it, as I do now. My husband is desperately in need of it, so when does this "change" occur?
With our first two kids, we had to force what we hoped would be the "change." As I nursed each one up to just shy of the age of 1, by month 9, getting up 3 or more times a night was starting to wear on me. With my oldest, we decided to let him cry at 9 months after trying every "no cry" sleep solution out there. We had to grin and bear it, and as he cried for up to an hour and a half each night for three nights in the row, I sat in the corner and cried myself.
Our second child I had high hopes for. He was a MUCH more easy going guy, would sleep for naps, didn't need the pacifier ("kuca" in our world) and I thought for sure he would figure out just how great sleep was, on his own. I of course overestimated his smarts, and he, like all little brothers, decided to copy the habits of his older brother by choosing to wake up 3 times a night. At 9 months, I was done yet again. "We can let him cry now, this is when we did it before!" I said with a little too much enthusiasm. I realized that something had changed with me. Instead of me crying in the corner as he proceeded to cry for 2 1/2 hours... my husband and I both fell asleep. We did wake once and pondered, "Could he really still be crying from the first time?" In our shear exhaustion, we decided it didn't matter either way and we would stick with our decision and off to sleep we went.
Now I'm hitting the critical point with number 3. He has been my easiest most laid back little man, however, we are approaching month 7 and we still are not sleeping through. Now, the question is... Will he copy his older brothers as most little brothers do?? Am I going to have to continue to carry the large bags under my eyes until month 9?
I know you are at the edge of your seat now.... Will the third be a follower or his own person? Only time can tell. Step 1 is getting him to sleep through the night. The next step for all three is making them sleep to 6:30. What is "through the night" anyway?
Everyone needs it, not everyone wants it. As a mother of 3 small children, I'm waiting for the day when my kids want to sleep. When does this happen? I remember always wanting it, as I do now. My husband is desperately in need of it, so when does this "change" occur?
With our first two kids, we had to force what we hoped would be the "change." As I nursed each one up to just shy of the age of 1, by month 9, getting up 3 or more times a night was starting to wear on me. With my oldest, we decided to let him cry at 9 months after trying every "no cry" sleep solution out there. We had to grin and bear it, and as he cried for up to an hour and a half each night for three nights in the row, I sat in the corner and cried myself.
Our second child I had high hopes for. He was a MUCH more easy going guy, would sleep for naps, didn't need the pacifier ("kuca" in our world) and I thought for sure he would figure out just how great sleep was, on his own. I of course overestimated his smarts, and he, like all little brothers, decided to copy the habits of his older brother by choosing to wake up 3 times a night. At 9 months, I was done yet again. "We can let him cry now, this is when we did it before!" I said with a little too much enthusiasm. I realized that something had changed with me. Instead of me crying in the corner as he proceeded to cry for 2 1/2 hours... my husband and I both fell asleep. We did wake once and pondered, "Could he really still be crying from the first time?" In our shear exhaustion, we decided it didn't matter either way and we would stick with our decision and off to sleep we went.
Now I'm hitting the critical point with number 3. He has been my easiest most laid back little man, however, we are approaching month 7 and we still are not sleeping through. Now, the question is... Will he copy his older brothers as most little brothers do?? Am I going to have to continue to carry the large bags under my eyes until month 9?
I know you are at the edge of your seat now.... Will the third be a follower or his own person? Only time can tell. Step 1 is getting him to sleep through the night. The next step for all three is making them sleep to 6:30. What is "through the night" anyway?
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